I am a mean girl. She’s just there inside of me. I try to get rid of her but I can’t. I try to fight her but sometimes she just comes out.
Yesterday I got into a little twitter scuffle with someone I used to be close with (Things ended badly with us) and just came all out of my face. Basically, I said a few ugly comments. Nothing beyond trivial. It was all surface level stuff that could have easily been brushed off, but of course when you have “beef” with someone you can’t just let stuff go. As soon as I typed the tweets I realized that I was spewing venom and didn’t want to be this negative person so I tweeted that I was going to delete them within 24 hours (when I got access to an actual computer).
She ended up seeing the tweets and  went on a tirade of her own, saying very personal things and kind of dealing some looooow blows. But of course, I completely understand. When someone disses you you have to come back harder. Completely get it.

What was said isn’t even the issue. Things just got hyped up and blown out of proportion, as usual. This is why I don’t like negativity because given the opportunity I can be the wicked witch of the east. After I said what I had to say, I didn’t feel any better. I felt worse for starting unnecessary drama. For dragging innocent people into it and for letting myself stoop so low to post nasty things about someone else.
I don’t feel good about it. Nothing was accomplished. The situation was worsened. And honestly, I don’t actually have ill feelings toward this person. I have been called “jealous” on multiple occasions but honestly just want success for her.  I don’t particularly have a “problem” with her, our personalities just do noooooooot mesh well at all.

The moral of the story is, don’t be mean to people. Trust me, it doesn’t feel good. It makes you feel gross inside. I should have just shut up and not been reactionary. Being Mean is Ugly.

Not my highest point but I told you I would be honest here. I make mistakes daily and feel like this one took me a few steps back. This was a stupid one that I should have learned a lesson from already. My mouth is probably the hardest thing to control.

How many times can you make a “mistake” before it becomes a “bad decision”?

-Kaisha