How to have a best guy friend

Lots of people believe that men and women simply can’t have platonic relationships. I beg to differ.

One of my best friends in the entire world who probably knows more about me than…well…anyone, is a guy. Now let me be honest: we are more than just friends. In fact, we’re so close I consider him family. So if you ever catch me talking about my “brother”, I’m referring to this kid. Hi Ray!!! *waves frantically*  Now, we’ve had countless opportunities for inappropriate things to happen and nothing has. At all. Ever.

Me and my bro in high school
Me and my bro back in high school. Note the struggle braids lol

So, my people, I am living proof that it IS POSSIBLE to have a platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex.

I do believe there are a few reasons why these types of relationships typically don’t work. Shall we?

1. People are…well…horny. (Sorry, Mom, I couldn’t think of another word!)
Attraction is a natural thing. Psychologically speaking, proximity is a determining factor in infatuation/falling in love. I truly believe that if you spend ENOUGH time with a person you will either grow to love them or grow to hate them. SO growing attraction, plus the right parts equals you crossing that friend boundary. It’s human nature- don’t be too hard on yourself.


2. People are opportunists.
Instead of valuing people solely for who they are, we tend to view the positive traits in others in the light of how it can be used for our benefit. Do we do this on purpose? Not always. But we’re naturally selfish so things transpire in our brains like this: “Oh wow, he’s such a generous guy. He’s total future baby daddy material”.
vs this: “Oh wow, he’s such a generous guy.” Period. We have a hard time simply appreciating people for who they are and tend to focus more on what they have to offer us.

So how do we remedy this?

People are people. I don’t think it will ever fully be remedied but I do think that individuals can notice behavioral patterns and make necessary adjustments. That being said.

Ladies, it’s okay to just be friends with a guy. Just because he’s not trying to get in your panties does not mean he’s gay or that your hotness is defunct. If he’s not interested in you that way, there’s no need for you to jump through hoops to change his mind. Accept the friendship for what it is.

Gentleman, I know this may be contrary to popular belief but women aren’t objects. We’re not trophies to be collected on a shelf. You don’t have to sleep with every woman you come in contact with. It doesn’t make you look cool. It makes you at risk for all types of infections of the venereal variety.  I know that no one ever tells you this, but you guys are special  and you have the right to be selective and “knowing” the majority of the eligible women in your metroplex does NOT make you a man.

People, you are more valuable than what’s between your legs. If you feel like all you have to offer is the same few body parts that every other normally functioning human of your gender has to offer, then we have a serious problem on our hands. Furthermore, stop viewing every person of the opposite sex as a future mate. If they’re good people, just view them as good people and let it stay that way. Ya don’t have to always be on the prowl. Respect and protect your FRIENDSHIPS.

Me an my bro now. Plus Lil B in the back! We've come a long way.

This is getting lengthy so I’m stopping here but I hope you get my point. Anyone else have serious platonic relationships with members of the opposite sex? Anyone care to share failed attemps at platonic relationships?lol

xoxo Kaisha

4 thoughts on “How to have a best guy friend

  1. I agree! Iv’e also wanted a really good guy best buddy! Sigh, the two I have don’t want me for obvious reasons. lol. Great post!

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