Open Diary: Perezosa

*Transparency alert!*

I believe that I was designed to be excellent. The problem is that excellence takes a whole lot of work. I don’t know where I got this laziness from. Both of my parents are very hardworking people. Perhaps my life has been too easy? I don’t know. The point is: I’m over myself.

I feel like there are so many things that I want to do and that I know that I should (or should not) do but I don’t. I am my biggest hindrance. I think about the stuff and then think about the effort it requires and resign to sitting on my couch and putting on a movie…or, worst case scenario, stuffing my face with brownies :/

So what’s the deal? Why am I so self-defeating? Is it just my personality? Am I afraid of trying? What’s so attractive about laziness? If this is “just who I am” then I seriously need to change.

Obviously, I can’t continue to be my own worst enemy. Loving yourself is a very important part of life. When you love someone you do what’s in their best interest. So, I need to love myself more. I need to appreciate my life more. It’s too short to be sitting around on the couch of complacency.

Life’s a journey and I don’t think this will happen overnight. But I do want to change. I know that it’s going to take God’s help and serious dedication on my behalf, but I’m ready to move to the next chapter in my life. You can’t get different results if you don’t make different decisions. Feel me?
So nowadays, when I wake up in the morning I have to have my mind made up that I’m going to love myself today and I’m going to make decisions that are in my best interest, whether it feels good or comfortable or not.

I’ve been watching lots of Eric Thomas (@ericthomasbtc) videos on YT to mentally prepare myself. So in real life, I’ll hear his voice yelling in my head when my laziness creeps up lol

Cheers to life!!

xoxo Kaisha

***Editor’s note: I wrote that on June 30, 2012. Wow, what a difference 16 days can make. I really meant everything that I said in this note and have gained so much insight to myself and from God (I’ll go into detail later). I have truly been working on making better decisions and just striving to be a better me, in general. I have had high points and low points but I’m so grateful to be able to say that I am not in the same place that I was in when I initially wrote this post.

(Brace yourself. I’t’s about to get cheesy ’round here) Life is a work in progress. You won’t be finished until you take your last breath. Sing while you can still breathe. Laugh out loud. Dance whether you’re on beat or not. Write like you have the most amazing story to tell. Know who you are, whose you are, and that you’re here for a reason. Decide not to be your own worst enemy. Remember that you can change RIGHT NOW. ¬†Believe “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” -Philippians 4:13***

Love y’all

This is my most attractive face. You’re welcome.

xoxo Kaisha

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2 thoughts on “Open Diary: Perezosa

  1. This is a really good article Kaisha. I enjoy reading your blogs. There is a time & season for everything. I think we all feel this way @ times.

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