The other day I had a discussion with a group of friends about competition. We were talking about the ways in which we feel like we have to compete in this world. Some of them even admitted that they secretly compete with people who don’t even kow.

In this conversation, some of my friends divulged that this competitive drive led them to feel like they had to have a great job, and nice car, the best body, and a nice pad to feel like they were successful. They, in a sense, gained validation because they outmeasured others in these areas. They didn’t just want to have any old thing, or be any old body, they wanted to have and be the best.

This was shocking to me because I am the complete opposite. To a fault. I do not care at all. I guess you could say I have a very hard time adopting societal norms of success. The only reason I want another car is for better gas mileage. I am perfectly happy crashing at my mom’s. I’m single with no children. Why pay money to be broke and need more money to pay for the place you live but never spend time in because you’re always at work making money for the place you live but never spend time in because you’re always at work? That’s my logic. The more I love my body, the better it looks and feels to me, and I shop on the clearance rack. Like, every time.I am one of the least competitive people that I know. I just don’t have the attention span to invest my energy into what other people are doing so that I can do it “better”. Don’t get me wrong, I go HARD when it comes to Taboo and Uno, but in the game of life I don’t compete.

I’m not here to knock anyone’s way of life. I think people who are competitive tend to be really good at making money and getting the job done. Two important things. They look really good on paper, which creates opportunities for them that people like me will never get. I think people like me lead really peaceful, happy lives. I get to see the whole forest without being blinded by the trees, and I am emotionally intelligent. I’m sure that “perfection” is somewhere in the middle of these two.

The point I’m more concerned with understanding is that a little healthy competition is a good thing. It can drive you to reach your goals. However, comparing ourselves to others because of our constant need for validation is not healthy. We have to know who we are without all of our “stuff”. Everybody wants to be somebody. Well, you ARE.

Rich or poor, you are somebody. Degree or dropout, you are somebody. Bangin’ body or banged up body, you are somebody. Relationship or single, you are somebody. Popular or unseen, you are somebody. Old or young, outgoing or softspoken, weak or strong, CFO or unemployed, no matter who you are, who you belong to, where you come from, or what you do: YOU ARE SOMEBODY.
And that’s something that nobody but God can give to you. You were born that way and you will die that way. Nothing on this earth makes you more valuable than what you were already born with. Remember that.

xoxo Kaisha