I woke up singing this catchy Beyonce song and it reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend the other day. Actually, it reminded me of conversations I have with my friends all the time.
In this society, other people love to project their ideals onto us. A “lady” should dress this way, and act this way, and talk this way, and blah blah blah. Men get the same thing. A “real man” needs this much money, and this kind of car, and needn’t be too emotional, etc.
Well, I’m over it. I’m over us letting other people tell us who to be. I’m not European. I don’t wear wide brimmed hats and consume tea and crumpets. I’m not part of the royal family. Why should I be concerned with being a “lady”? Will that pay my student loans? If so, sign me up. Otherwise, I think I’d rather just be me.
My parents didn’t raise me to be a “lady”. They raised me to love God, love people, be authentic, and handle my business. I was taught to work smart, use what I have to my advantage, communicate well, stand up for myself and others who need an advocate, and to be honest. I was taught to stand on my own two feet, help as many people as I possibly can, whether they can help me or not, to have mercy on people and forgive them, and to realize that there is always a way out, so I never need to feel hopeless.
I was taught and allowed to be myself. I didn’t have to fit a mold that someone else made for me. We get caught up trying to be who we’re “supposed” to be instead of simply being who we are. We’re supposed to be who we are right now. Right where we are. We’re all works in progress, and we won’t be finished until the day we die. Since we’re all living and learning and figuring things out as we go, why add on the stress of trying to live someone else’s ideal?
I believe that every person we meet, and every experience we have shapes us and molds us into the person/people we’re supposed to be, so wherever we are in the moment is for a purpose. With all that said, ditch all these rules. There’s no need to be someone else’s carbon copy. No one else can live your life for you. No one else has to see your reflection in the mirror or lie down with your thoughts at night.
My only advice is: live a life you’re genuinely proud of. One that reflects how much you love and respect yourself, which will naturally ripple out to others. Live a life that gives you peace and gets rid of unrest in your spirit.
Cut your hair if you want. Wear fluorescent lipstick if you want. Shake your bon bons if you want. Eat the chocolate if you want. Be a nerd if you want. Dive in if you want. Be authentic. Or as I like to say, “Live yo life!”