Tell Me Who I Have to be to Get Some Reciprocity

Sometimes you just have to learn when to say when. I think women have an unfortunate tendency to hold on to hope in relationships. Now, I understand that love endures all, but when it comes to the dating game, it’s important to make decisions that work in our favor. We tend to be chronic nurturers. We hope for the best. We see things through rose colored glasses.

This isn’t all bad. Under the right circumstances, someone needs to know how to compromise and how to give a little. The problem with women is: we give too much. We don’t demonstrate that we value ourselves as much as we should because we accept bread crumbs when we really want/deserve wedding cake.

I’m over this new age “let’s pretend we don’t care about each other , hang out, fool around, and never make progress” dating. You know what I say? I say we take it back to the old school way. Before smart phones, and “chillin”, and situationships, there was courting. Courting, like you know the person is marriage material so you give yourself a window of time to get to know the person and decide whether or not they are the right one for you, and you either get engaged or break up. All this I’ll call you when I want and might text you when I don’t crap is unacceptable.

I’ve witnessed too many men get the benefit of the doubt, while the women are left looking like Boo Boo the Fool waiting on them to decide what they want. I’ve decided that if you can’t figure it out in a timely manner, then I, obviously, ain’t the one for you. At the end of the day, a man is going to go after what he wants even if he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. Any excuses these men make to run around in circles and make no progress are all poor excuses.

Men: if you’re still stuck on your baby mama, don’t talk to me. If you aren’t stable in your career and it makes you feel insecure about pursuing a relationship, don’t talk to me. If you’re so busy with all your extra curricular activities in life that you can’t communicate with me on a consistent basis, don’t talk to me. If you don’t want to go on dates and have real conversations about things that matter in life, but want to chill at your house, don’t talk to me. And certainly, if you aren’t ready to commit and shy away from the thought of something real, please, spare me, and don’t talk to me.

Life’s short. Let’s not waste time. I’m one of my favorite people to hang out with, so I have no problem being single if it means I don’t have to put up with inconsistency and confusion. Ladies, if it gets desperate, take yourself out on a date. No fool is worth your sanity. Don’t sell yourself short. You deserve nothing less than what you give. If they don’t measure up, send ’em packing. Like my mom told me, “you can’t make ice cream out of snow.” Stop waiting on him to be somebody else, and send him packing.

xoxo Kaisha

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