How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days

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You may have seen this movie starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey (don’t even ask me how many times I had to look to figure out how to spell his name). Problem for us is, the guy stuck around in the movie. It’s every woman for herself out here in the hunger dating games. From scrubs to serial players to habitual liars and social media creeps, a lady’s got to be armed with a few tricks up her sleeve and, when necessary, some heavy metal strapped to her waist to make it out alive. While these ways probably aren’t best served in serious relationships, they’ll definitely work when you’re trying to curve a persistent slime ball. Here are 4 super duper sophisticated ways to say bye bye to your bugaboo šŸ˜‰

Like Mike
Any Chicago Bulls fans in here? Michael Jordan taught us one of the easiest ways to get rid of someone after you’ve reached the end of the road with them: fade away. I’m not saying to screen calls and pretend to be busy or anything,oh heavens no. That would be far too tacky, but if you happen to miss his calls…every time, and can’t find the time to respond to his text messages because you get continuously distracted by your oh so busy schedule, eventually you’ll start to turn into a figment of his imagination. Granted, he may try to contact your friends to see what’s going on, so make sure you run the plays by your teammates.

FrostedĀ Flakes
Some men are crazy, egotistical, and don’t take rejection well. In these situations, women mayĀ feel like being direct is unsafe. If need be, simply flake. When he tries to make plans with you, agree to them. Then, get sick, have a “friend randomly come into town”, get caught up at work. You catch my drift. After he’s had enough of your crap, he’ll leave you alone.

Sniper
Make it swift, and neat. Be upfront. Don’t leave any room for interpretation. Tell him very directly that you are no longer interested in communicating with him. You don’t want to date him anymore. You can go ahead and offer the cheap “we can be friends” line, but we all know the truth. He wasn’t interested in being your friend from the jump, and he won’t want to be your friend afterward. Unless, of course you actually were friends to begin with.

Ctrl+Alt+Delete
This, my friends, is the be all end all of your new fling. A lot, and I do mean A LOT of guys will miss the subtlety of the Like Mike and theĀ Frosted Flakes approaches. A large majority of them will even ignore the directness of the Sniper. And that is precisely when you completely erase their existence from your life. Facebook, Number, IG, Twitter, Email: delete and block. And don’t you dare unblock them. Don’t. You. Dare.

Understand that you’re gonna meet a lot of frogs before you meet your Prince (who am I? That made me vomit a little). Be as open and honest as you possibly can. Don’t hold on to the warty amphibians because you’re afraid of confrontation. Let it go like Frozen, honey. And when you do meet your “him”, you better treat him reeeeeeal nice šŸ˜‰

xoxo Kaisha

 

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