I always imagined myself with someone who had a bright smile and a contagious laugh. I wanted someone who was attractive, and smart, and funny. Someone who may not have a ton of money, but who has a plan and is financially responsible. I  always wanted someone who worked on spiritual growth, participated in and gave back to the community, and who didn’t judge people based on how they look or what they make, but looked at every person as a divinely designed individual. I wanted someone who cared about health, and read a lot, and has excellent taste in music. Someone with the right balance of free spiritedness and OCD. I always wanted someone to write me poetry and make me feel special. Someone who put me first. Someone who showed respect to everyone, and loved me unconditionally. Someone who looked out for my best interest, and sacrificed for my good. I’ve always wanted someone to grow old with, build a future with, travel with, and share my life with.

Finally, my search is over. The person I’ve been waiting for all along is me. I have come to realize that I’m The One for me. I stopped waiting for someone else to come into my life and cultivate good habits and push me forward. I stopped romanticizing the qualities I wanted in a man, and starting adopting habits and ideals that made me into that person, because those traits aren’t only good to have in a romantic partner, they’re good to have as a decent human.

When you really, truly, deeply love and value yourself, life becomes a grand adventure. You can give more of yourself when you make yourself a priority. You won’t need validation nor permission from others to live your life freely. When you stop waiting for the right time or the right person or the right circumstance, life gets sweeter. You won’t be waiting for the sun to shine brighter or the gardenias to be more potent. You’ll be too busy basking in their overwhelming warmth and beauty.

I truly believe that I am the one for me. Anyone else who comes into my life will be a great compliment, for sure. Whoever “he” is, he’s gonna be one lucky man. He’s gonna be lucky because I don’t need him. He won’t have the pressure to make me happy, or whole, or to make my life worthwhile. That’s my job, and I do it well.

Whether you’re single, dating, married, or anywhere in between, I hope you’re in love with yourself this Valentine’s Day (not in a Kanye West type of way though; that’s taking it too far). I hope that you’re making you happy. If not, now’s as good a time to start as any. And for those who are loving on themselves day in and day out, you’ve reached, as my friend Morgan put it, Singleness: Expert Level.

xoxo Kaisha