Whether the dumper or the dumpee, we’ve all gone through break ups before. They can be really tough on you emotionally, make you question a lot of things in your life, and hit your self-esteem hard. When you’re going through it, it’s hard to believe that there’s a bright side, but here’s a few reasons why breaking up is not so bad after all.
Failure is information
I’m not sure where I heard this originally, but it couldn’t be truer. Sure, the relationship that you were banking on fell through and didn’t pan out how you planned, but take inventory on the information you’ve gained about yourself. You probably have a better idea of how you want/need to be loved. You’ve learned your communication styles that are/aren’t effective. You’ve learned your deal breakers so you can set clear boundaries in the future. And let’s be honest, sometimes the best way to find out what you want is to find out what you absolutely don’t want.
Your confidence skyrockets
During the grieving process life is going to suck. Good news is, that feeling doesn’t last forever. When you get on the other side of it (and you will, honey) you’ll feel so proud of yourself for walking away from a situation that no longer serves you. You finally chose you, which is something you probably haven’t done in a long time. You’ll realize that you can walk through the darkest times and still make it out fine. You don’t need another person to be whole. You’re enough.
You gain the freedom you forgot about
When you’re used to the emotional bog down of a relationship that needs to end, life can feel heavy. When you get out of it, the freedom of being able to do/be whatever you want to without discussing your choices with or being influenced by someone else is unbelievable. When you dump that baggage, you’re free to really get to know and love yourself, the one person who you’ll always have.
You become empathetic
When you’ve never been in love or been hurt in love, it’s easy to roll your eyes at your friend for crying over a guy who makes her miserable. When you’ve been there, you know when to save your “I told you so” speeches and just show up (again) with ice cream, cookies, and Kleenex and prepare for a Netflix binge, or a long long drive listening to the same old sad songs. And you do it willingly, because you know that everyone has her turn.
You have big hopes for the future
You’ll get to a point where you can appreciate the relationship for what it was. Maybe you gained lifelong friends. Maybe you gained experiences that you wouldn’t have tried on your own. Eventually, you will be able to remember the relationship without feeling the pain and you’ll be able to focus on the good without being tempted to go back. You’ll be able to think about all the good times, the butterflies, the magical moments that you shared with that person. Just imagine, if you could have so many great memories; if you could experience such an enchanting love and be that enthralled, loyal, and committed to the person who was not meant for you, how much better it will be with the person who is.
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