I don’t remember exactly when I made the choice not to wear makeup daily, but I know that it was at least a few months ago. It was kind of random and it will be hard to explain without talking in circles but I’ll try. So I guess I should start at the beginning. Y’all know I’ve dealt with acne for years. I remember going to a dermatologist after trying so many different treatments and her saying, “If you hit twenty-five and it still looks like this, you’ll probably have to use medication forever.”Y’all know I ain’t the one to say that to. I was determined to go through the struggle and the ugly phases MY way before I let somebody tell me that I needed a lifelong prescription for my face. So I’ve tried it all. Some things worked. Some things didn’t. What I was left with was a lot of scarring (physical and emotional) and a dependence on makeup. I didn’t leave home without it. I didn’t let people see me without it. Then, I turned 25 and something changed.
Blame it on my body finally catching up with the times and giving me less breakouts; Blame it on my Clarisonic; Blame it on me getting tired of craning my neck so I wouldn’t get makeup all over JO’s shirts; Blame it on Alicia Keys; but I decided that I didn’t want to need the stuff anymore.
I am not anti-makeup. I don’t believe it’s “false advertising”. I believe you have to decide what works best for you. I know that I still give my face a good beat when I’m at social functions. If there will be pictures taken, I’m putting it on. If I’m doing something fun on the weekends, I’m putting it on. If I’m going on a date with JO, I’m putting it on. If I’m having dinner with girlfriends, you catch my drift. I like the polished, glammed up look and I am unashamed. However, I did not want to feel like a lesser version of myself without it.
I decided to let my fresh face free during my routine daily functions. Basically, I stopped wearing makeup to work and after work activities. It was super scary at first. Women who don’t wear makeup won’t get it, but those who wear it daily feel me. In my head I imagined a million people asking me if I was sick or tired. But they didn’t. I imagined I wouldn’t be able to look people in the eye. But I could. I thought I wouldn’t be able to be confident. But I am.
Will I start wearing makeup daily again? I like my real face a lot now so I don’t know. For now, I’m chillin. It’s been nice letting my pores breathe and it makes putting on makeup even more fun. It’s gone from something I have to do to something I love to do. Plus, it’s forcing me to step my skin care game up, which is something I needed.
I have learned that I’m the same ol’ G with or without it. I have hyperpigmentation, and a crooked face, and two different sized eyes, and barely there eye lashes, dark circles under my eyes, and a lot of other things that society would have me to believe are flaws. And you know what? I have learned to love all of them because they are a part of me. I have gotten so comfortable loving stripped down, plain old me. Since, both compliments and insults have meant less and less to me. If you like what I’ve got going on, cool. If you don’t, also cool. I never thought that something as simple as exposing my skin would help me find a different type of freedom, but it did. I’m trying to stay free. What about y’all?