Dealing With Insecurity

Hey lovelies! It’s that time of year when the sun’s out and it’s time to let out those yams! For those who started working on their summer bodies in the winter, it’s no big deal. For those of us who did more fork lifting than deadlifting, it can be daunting.

It’s perfectly normal to feel self-conscious about things. We are taught to pick ourselves (and others) apart. Social media doesn’t help either. I confess that it drives me to have to do the absolute most just to get my acne prone skin to look decent, meanwhile on YouTube, influencers are going on retreats with Ole Henriksen bare faced and radiant. Let’s not even  talk about money. Really.

One of the things I’ve been honing in on is my financial health. It was one of my insecurities because I have been in a holding pattern, financially, and I could’t take it anymore. I recently attended the Path to Power event hosted by Essence and Northwestern Mutual. Seeking the resources and spending time educating myself took some of the edge off and inspired this post.

(Can we just talk about how I got to meet Myliek Teele! This was one of my goals in life! She’s a BOSS! Okay back to the post.)

Insecurity is something we all deal with at some point or another. Here are a few ways to overcome it.

Do not compare yourself to others
This one can be challenging but it really is key. What’s for you is for you. What’s for them is for them. Someone else’s light will not dim yours. In fact, if you get close enough, it will illuminate you too.

Mind your business
Piggy backing off the first point, stay in your lane. Counting other people’s pockets will not make you wealthy. Getting the details of other people’s relationship will not, suddenly, land you in one. Use that time and energy to pour into yourself instead. Which leads to my next point.

Invest in yourself
Use your time and resources wisely. Stop participating in things that drag you down and keep you away from your goals. When you start making decisions that are in your best interest, you’ll stop focusing on what you don’t have and start focusing on the work you’re doing to get it. Go to the conference, buy the camera, meet with the financial planner. Invest in yourself. Speaking of work.

Do the work
Don’t sit up and cry about things you refuse to change. I can be insecure about my body all day, but it’s not even worth talking about if I’m stuffing my face with burgers and fries every day. We get complacent with our complaining sometimes and accept things as they are instead of finding our power to change them. If you can change it, change it! Even if it won’t come easy, put a plan into action and stay focused. Where there’s a will there’s a way.

Be grateful
This is the sharpest tool in my shed. When I start fixating on and beating myself up about the money I don’t have (yet), the following I don’t have (yet), the body I don’t have (yet), the skin I don’t have (yet), I have to force myself to remember all that I do have. Thanks Mama for always reminding me! It’s hard to feel badly about your body when you look down and tell your legs thank you for carrying me around all day! You may not be a millionaire (yet), but thank God you were able to buy some lunch today. You may not have perfect teeth, but be grateful that your smile comes from the joy in your heart.

xoxo Kaisha

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