Aight, so boom. One day I’m at the nail salon getting my usual nexgen nails. Same color every time. The last time this new nail tech did my nails I felt like she didn’t make them thin enough around the cuticle. It’s a very minor detail, but it irked me for two weeks. This time, I noticed she was doing it again. I was like, chill Kaish, it’s not a big deal. Don’t be difficult. Just let the nice lady finish. You can live with it. So, I tried to let it go. But I couldn’t. Something inside of me was like, but why should you have to live with it? You are paying for a service. It should be done exactly the way you want it done. And I was like, you’re right. It should! So, I told her how I wanted it done and, like magic, she did what I asked.
I don’t know when or for what reason I became Agreeable Abigail, but it has gotten me in a world of trouble over the years and I’m here to tell you that I’m letting that ish go. I’ve been very accommodating to others, and it has caused me tons of heartache, headaches, and time wasted.
I read somewhere that you’d be surprised what people are willing to give you if you have the gall to ask. Think about your difficult friends. Are they annoying sometimes? Yes. But do they walk around feeling unfulfilled because they’ve settled for less than what they wanted? No.
They get the best rates on everything. They demand the best service (and usually get it). Why? Because they have high expectations and allow others to rise to them instead of revelling in mediocrity. These are the people who get the best out of life and who bring out the best in you.
When we have high expectations of others, it usually stems from the high expectations we have of ourselves. If we let others slip, slide, and half step, we probably let ourselves do the same. Your level of expectation is a direct reflection of who you think you are. As I continue to push past my own perceived limits, and demand excellence from myself, I am doing the same for the people in my life. From my friends and family all the way to my nail tech.
Now, I wish I didn’t have to, but I must say this: Do not be the person who has impossible standards for others while you slum it up and free load your way through life. Step one of this process is expecting more from yourself. Something else I wish I didn’t have to say: don’t be an a–hole. You can 100% be direct and assertive with high expectations AND treat people with dignity and respect. Do unto others, my friend.
I’ve hit a new chapter in my life and have been actively and intentionally leveling up. This is reflected in my new tag: I believe I can have it all. And I do believe it wholeheartedly. Not all that others expect of me. But ALL that God has for me. ALL that my mind can imagine. But I know that it doesn’t come without sacrifice and without discipline and consistency. And since I’m coming for ALL that’s mine, I know that I have to put my all into it.
I challenge you, just like I challenge myself. If you believe you can have it all, please close the chapter of your life where you accept anything less than what you deserve. Let go of passively floating through life and trying to make a meal out of whatever crumbs are thrown your way and get you a steak. With lobster. Instead of always taking the L to spare others, be that loyal and thoughtful to yourself. If it causes friction to get what you want, then rub a dub dub, friend. GO. GET. YOUR. LIFE. Be passionate. Be present. Be a dreamer. Be a doer. Be difficult.