A Month a Mommy

Hey y’all! I took a brief break to HAVE A BABY but I’m back now. I’m super excited to create some new content. It may be a little slow coming out but y’all know I take my time with this anyway. So, please join me as I randomly ramble about my thoughts on my induction into the club of motherhood.

I don’t think there is one word that can describe new mom life. My daughter was born on July 8 and my world has completely changed. I have cried plenty of tears from trying to heal and feeling overwhelmed and TIRED. I have stared in wonder at the fact that my body quite literally produced a human who is hanging out with me everyday. I have felt overcome with thankfulness staring at her little face. She’s soooo cute and so lively for such a small person. It is transformative. I’ve spent a little bit (or a lot) of time wanting to “just” snap back to the person I used to be, only to realize that that person is outdated. I am still me, but a new version of me.

As much as people “warn” and try to give you a heads up on what to expect, nothing really prepares you for the transition you make when you first become a parent. It is shocking to the system and took me a minute. Like, no one told me that I’d find myself utterly exhausted, wanting to do nothing more than take a shower, only to find myself nursing my girl while I sat on the toilet. But guess what? It’s something almost every mom has done! It’s nothing like the Instagram version of motherhood lol.

I look forward to continuing this journey. It’s helping me find parts of myself that I didn’t know were there. It’s helping me see the world and people differently. It’s helping me shape and re-shape my priorities. What is truly important to me has become glaringly obvious because it’s the things I choose to do instead of taking a nap lol.

I already love this little girl so much. Sometimes I’m on top of this mommy thing and sometimes this mommy thing is on top of me, but we are taking it one day at a time. I love getting to know this person who lived inside of me everyday. She’s feisty and knows what she wants. She has already taught me about determination. I mean, I would lay her on the couch and she would inch toward me until her head was literally touching my leg when she was only a couple weeks old. The girl was moving across the couch lol. And I remember thinking, if she can do all that, certainly I can find a way to do what I want to do.

Making this transition has been equally terrifying and exciting. Terrifying because I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m literally just trying to emulate my mother while I learn my child and try to meet her needs. Exciting to watch myself become a mom and my parents become grandparents (which is basically them just parenting again, but with more patience).

I could go on and on but I’ll stop now. This has been the most exhausting, inspiring, fulfilling thing I’ve done so far. I remember spending a lot of time in my early adulthood trying to figure out what I wanted to “do” with my life. I considered everything from being a flight attendant to trying to work for the FBI. Then I finally realized that I didn’t have a lot of career aspirations. I just wanted to be a mom. Yep, “just a mom” as some people say. Now, I am one and for me, it’s all it’s cracked up to be.

Finally, thank you to all my friends and loved ones who have sent texts, phone calls, cards, gifts, food, prayers and love. Fia, Mario and I have been incredibly blessed by you! I’m getting back to you on the phone calls. Just trying to find my rhythm here. Thank you to my parents who nursed me back to life after having an unplanned c-section. You kept me in good spirits and good health with your overwhelming generosity. There aren’t enough words to thank you. And thank you to my husband, Mario, for being sturdy so that I could lean on you in my weakest moments. Thank you for assuming all the household duties and for taking care of me and Fia! I love you!

Xoxo Kaisha

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